Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
