But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
