Having a random hookup so left but love u
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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