Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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