i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
