im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
