I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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