just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
