I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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