It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Lo siento on account of my penis...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
