You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize