She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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