I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
