She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
