ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
3pm strippers are depressing
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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