Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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