Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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