My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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