I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
