I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
