fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
