why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
this hospital has no fireball
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
