I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
