I am puke
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
