Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We left the knife in your bed.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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