He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
