like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
