he wants to bone in the snuggie
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
