let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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