Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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