a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
