I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize