3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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