I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
