i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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