Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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