My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
