And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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