I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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