it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
