Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize