Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
