im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
