she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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