just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
