So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
