i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
