i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
