its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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