I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
