i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
