that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
