found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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