I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
