It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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