You can't motorboat a personality
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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