Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
